Parenting in Public

At a meeting I attended recently, I was once again reminded how difficult it can be to be a good parent in public. And by "good parent" I mean a good disciplinarian. It's hard enough to do the right thing and discipline your child at home, especially if it means stopping what you're doing to deal with the problem. But when you're in public, there are a whole other set of obstacles.

Like worrying about disturbing other people if your child starts to tantrum when you tell them no, or worrying that people will think that you have no control. Or even worrying that you might appear too strict.

The issue I encountered at the meeting, had a little bit to do with that last one, appearing too strict. No I wasn't worried about appearing too strict, at first. Then one of the ladies at the meeting stepped in.

You see, Maria was wandering around the room. I had given her boundaries. "You may stay in this row, but you can't go into the row in front of us. Don't squeeze between chairs. If you want to sit down, sit down in this row." Now, the women in front of us probably heard me tell her this. But I'll give her the benefit of the doubt, and assume that she didn't know that I had already forbid Maria from wandering out of our row.

But I know that she did hear me tell Maria not to squeeze between the chairs, and try to leave our row the second time that she did it. I know because she was watching Maria, and after I told her to come back to me, the woman said, "It's ok. She's not bothering me."

At which point I wanted to retort, "Ya, but she's bothering ME."

I kept my mouth shut, managed to get Maria to come back without too much fuss, and sat there seething for a minute. Even though I was annoyed at the woman's comment, and her undermining my parenting, I still let it affect how I handled Maria for the rest of the time there.

The third time she tried to leave the row, I gave up trying to get her back more easily, and just gave her that, "don't even try it" look, which was enough to stop her from squeezing all the way into the next row. She just stood there staring at me, stuck halfway between the chairs. She knew that she was getting away with something, and she knew that I should be trying to stop her. But I didn't say anything. I was too tired of fighting her, and I was afraid that the woman would comment again.

It's tough enough to handle a two-year old without having defend your parenting tactics to everyone who happens along.

Camping at French Creek

Okay, so these are a little old but I finally got time to post them. Hope you enjoy.

Glad I'm not there anymore....

Bishop Trautman, of the Diocese of Erie, PA has issued a statement on the motu proprio that widens the use of the Tridentine Rite of the Mass. Patrick Archbold, over at Creative Minority Report does a fine job of fisking the statement here, so I will refrain from saying much.

I will note however, that this is the diocese where I did my 6 months of volunteering with a small order of sisters who had some "interesting" ideas about the church. With all the things that happened there, with seemingly no sanctions from the him, it does not surprise me to learn that Bishop Trautman is rushing to put restrictions on the use the Tridentine Rite Mass. This is just another sign of problems in that diocese.

More BS Party

Ok, so I lied. I realized that I have no time tomorrow for blogging, so I posted the pictures tonight, despite the fact that my husband is now turning off lights, and leaving me in the dark still staring at the computer. Hope you all enjoy the effort.

Fourth of July BS Party

This year, thanks to Steve we had a grand time on the fourth, picnicking and boating at his uncle's cabin. And luckily for us all, I got quite a few pictures of the festivities. I'll post a few tonight, and maybe some more tomorrow. If you want any specific pic emailed to you just let me know.

Home again, home again....

We're back from our whirlwind New England tour. We managed to see some old college friends, tour Mystic, CT and Boston, MA. Along the way we passed through parts of 7 states (not counting PA). We stopped at least 6 or 7 times to calm Amelia and or eat and stretch. I learned exactly how much I love PA drivers, whose idiosyncrasies are at least known to me, as opposed to drivers in other states, who may at any moment do something horribly unexpected to me, but something which is obviously a tacitly agreed upon deviation from the rules amongst drivers in their state. For example the tendency to come zipping up the entrance ramp at full speed and 'merge' without paying any attention to who may or may not be on the roadway already, and especially not considering whether or not you may be causing them to brake rapidly to avoid crashing into you. So much fun!

The trip was made even more exciting, from the outset, when Maria threw up on the morning of our departure. So we spent awhile deciding whether to go or not. Obviously we went, but we spent alot of the first day or so looking anxiously at Maria for any sign of a repeat performance. Aside from not eating much, she was fine for the rest of the time. But then Amelia, got sick on Friday night, and hasn't been quite right since. There's nothing like a stomach bug to make a trip more interesting.

We did manage to have fun though, seeing various ships and historic buildings, watching "Dory" fish at the aquarium, pushing buttons a the Museum of Science, riding the train with a stroller and two kids, finding the elevator at the subway stops, eating lots of good food (far away from the subway and it's "aroma") and generally passing out with exhaustion in the "number room" each night. We met quite a few friendly Bostonians, who we very helpful in giving directions and advice about how to navigate the city and find good food. We also met a couple with two kids, who are training to be missionaries in Africa. Even their three year old was learning French in preparation for their mission. Meeting such interesting people makes traveling that much more fun.

I could say more but I'll stop now, and let the picture say the rest.

(Pictures in separate post)

Mystic, CT

Row, row, row your boat.

Charles Morgan whaler.

Anchored.

Capsun Demo.

Boston - Day 1

Boston Harbor

Walking the Freedom Trail.

Peanut butter, jelly, and banana panini. Yummy!

On the USS Constitution.

Paul Revere statue near Old North Church.

Boston - Day 2

Outside the Aquarium.

A jellyfish, swimming.

Touching a starfish.

A fountain in Boston Common.

The view from our hotel, with musical nuns.
(they're kinda like that gnome)

Boston - Day 3

Bird puppets.

In the butterfly garden.

Leaving butterfly garden, checking in mirror for 'passengers.'

Boston Public Garden.

Cheers!

There and back again - shots from the road.

Rest stop.

Somewhere in Connecticut.

Rest Stop.

Stop Amelia from screaming stop.

On the road, again.

It's a Wednesday.

Yep, that's right. Wednesday. And around here that means it was a crazy day. Doesn't matter if the day was actually a Wednesday or not. If it was crazy, busy, or downright frustrating then a Wednesday is what I call it.

I just started calling a bad day a "Wednesday" after experiencing a series of really crazy Wednesdays. Don't know why Wednesday are so crazy around here, they just are.

Well, this week has been a week of Wednesdays. That's right, a whole week of 'em.

I'll spare you the details. Let's just say, that because the rest of the week was soooo busy, crazy and full of surprises, today is even more busy, crazy and full of surprises.

Thankfully, tomorrow's the start of our vacation. So maybe we'll escape the world of Wednesdays, and find rest somewhere in New England. Or maybe not. I'll let ya know when we get back.

Until then may everyday be a "Sunday" for you all. :)

So Funny....

If you like Steven Colbert, you'll think so too. Or if you don't like liturgical dancing. Or if you have any sense of humor at all.

Just check it out here. Then check out the rest of the site. There's some pretty good clips (especially nice for those of us without cable.

Prayer Request

I just found out that the father of one of my friends committed suicide this weekend. She will be traveling to be with her family during this difficult time.

Please pray for her safe arrival, for the repose of the soul of her father, and for peace and healing within her family as they grieve this terrible loss.

A Day at the Park with Friends

Flowers

Growing up.

I always amazes me how the little things during an ordinary day can affect you. For example, today, Maria said grace at breakfast and at lunch right along with me. Now she's been able to say it for awhile, but she's never actually said it out loud with me. Usually she just whispers it, or doesn't say anything at all.

But today she said it out loud, along with me. And I couldn't help but think how fast the time goes and how much she has grown up already. And I have to admit, it brought tears to my eyes, to see her innocence and joy at accomplishing such a simple thing as a prayer.

I said a prayer of my own at that moment. That she would always find joy in simple prayers, and that she would carry her childlike faith into the rest of her life.

Religion: A Form of Abuse?

This article says so.

And I suppose that the author would exempt secular humanists from the proposed age restrictions for teaching religion to the young. And what of Atheism, Confucianism, and Taoism? Are they religions? Or just philosophies?

And what of public education of children? Isn't it just the teacher deciding what the student should and shouldn't learn? Isn't that indoctrination? Couldn't that be considered abusive? Don't most teachers require unquestioning acceptance of their teachings?

"1+1= 2," says the teacher.

"I don't think so, I think 1+1=4," say Johnny.

"No, that's wrong," says the teacher.

See what I mean, very abusive.

Further, schools are violent places. Just look how many school shootings there have been. Surely this proves the point that its abusive to send children to school. They are told what to wear, what to think, what to believe and so they become violent. And by watching the violence of others, they are taught violence. So I think we should ban all schools.


HT: Matthew S at Catholic Dads

Lost and Found

Lost: One tiny band-aid, from Amelia's leg after her vaccination at 2 on Wednesday.

Found: One tiny band-aid, on Mommy's tummy (in bed) at around 11:30 on Wednesday.

At least I know she didn't eat it.

Ain't misbehavin'...

I found this article through one of the groups on Cafe Mom. (Consensual Living, Respectful Parenting, Non-Coercive Parenting, etc.)

Here's a quote that kinda sums it up:

"I think adults say a child misbehaves whenever some specific action is judged as contrary to how the adult thinks the child should behave. The verdict of misbehavior, then, is clearly a value judgment made by the adult – a label placed on some particular behavior, a negative judgment of what the child is doing. Misbehavior thus is actually a specific action of the child that is seen by the adult as producing an undesirable consequence for the adult. What makes a child's behavior misbehavior (bad behavior) is the perception that the behavior is, or might be, bad behavior for the adult. The "badness'' of the behavior actually resides in the adult's mind, not the child's; the child in fact is doing what he or she chooses or needs to do to satisfy some need."

In other words, when the child's selfishness conflicts with my selfishness, and that bothers me, then I am the one who has a problem and not the child. I am the one who has to overcome my selfishness, to be able to see their selfishness, not as bad, but as normal "need" fulfillment.

Oh, and because it's my problem and not the child's problem, I shouldn't punish him. Or at least I shouldn't use, "power" tactics to deal with the behavior. 'Cuz we all know that "power" tactics break the child's spirit.

Sounds great, doesn't it?